My sister, Otae, who works part-time at a snack shop met a man with a furry butt.
If your boyfriend's rear end looked like an afro with a part down the middle, what would you do?
I would love him, butt afro and all.
Otae!
In order to thwart this self-proclaimed Thief of Hearts,
Gin declares that he is engaged to my sister, and ends up being challenged to a duel.
Let's go!
A fair...
...duel!
Hold on a second!
The blade! The t-t-tip!
Gin won with a cowardly trick you could hardly call "heroic".
["Find the Silver-haired Samurai!!" The Shinsengumi are searching all over Edo.]
[Odd Jobs Gin receives a new request... who is this old man?]
Vice Chief!
Is it true that the Chief was jilted by some chick?
Not only that, he got tricked into a duel and lost?!
Getting shot down by the ladies is nothing new for him, but I can't believe he lost a fight!
Just who is this silver-haired samurai?!
Pipe down, we're in a meeting.
And there's no way Kondo would lose.
Who the hell's been spreading such baseless rumors?
Captain Okita...
...was announcing it over the loudspeaker.
I heard it from you, Hijikata.
What was I thinking, telling that loud mouth?
What?! You're the one who started the rumor?!
So why're you chewing us out? Give us a break!
What, so it's true then?!
Shaaddap!!
The next officer who talks about private matters during this meeting commits seppuku.
And I'll assist.
Yamazaki, you first.
What? But I didn't say anything.
Methinks thou dost protest too much.
Hey, guys! Hey, this is a lively meeting for a change.
Right! Okay, everyone...
let's go out there and do our civic duty, shall we?!
Huh? What's wrong?
["Fighting Should Be Done with Fists"]
Then it's all right?
You'll go at it even if I try to stop them.
Don't worry, Chief. We'll find him without fail!
All right, let's go!
Right!
They don't get it.
Do they actually think they can beat someone who challenged Kondo?
Now get this!
It's just one opponent!
Find him!
For the honor of the Shinsengumi!
Our target is...a silver-haired samurai!
Hey, hey, hey!
You don't plan on beating me, do you?
Not only is that reckless, it borders on arrogance, no, insolence.
Enough to make me belch.
If you plan on fighting, put your life on the line.
I'll make it so you'll never belch again.
We're not so lame that we'll succumb to just your fighting spirit.
This fight isn't about belching, it's about brains.
Never mind belching. Just get on with it!
Good evening, everyone. I'm Shinpachi Shimura.
Everyday, the trees turn greener.
By the way, the reason why we're scowling at each other like this is...
Well, it's complicated.
Yo! I'm Goku!
Hey, everyone! The great space war has begun!
I don't know about the difficult stuff, but I'm really shocked.
Hey, guys.
I can hear you guys thinking out loud!
That's pretty bad acting, numbskulls.
Leave us alone. This is strategy!
How rude! Calling it bad acting.
They're saying "this anime is hard for kids to understand".
Better shape up, or it won't just be moving time slots! We'll be cancelled!"
So shouted Gintoki in his heart.
Shouted? Gin, don't copy me!
Dumbass! As if we can lose something like this.
Right. This is one match we cannot lose.
How'd it turn out like this?
Anyway, take a look at this!
[The Story So Far]
The Odd Jobs gang - Gintoki, Shinpachi, and Kagura - went about their lives as usual.
But a client shattered the peace.
He was a carpenter and advisor of the Kabukicho Town Council,
Ishida Pierre Genpachisayuemon.
Age: 63. Astrological sign: Virgo.
[Due to Mr. Ishida's ego, this image has been touched up 275%. - Sorry.]
His request was for a carpenter's assistant.
However, the request had a frightening catch to it.
He only wants one person.
Just one of them would work!
[Due to Mr. Ishida's ego, this image has been touched up 384%.]
They reacted instantly.
A high-level negotiation going back and forth, voices and hands going non-stop.
Proposals put forth only to be rejected.
[Due to Mr. Ishida's ego, this image has been touched up 40 thousand trillion and 12%.]
When the dust finally settled, they had decided on a method to choose the one.
[Give us a break, you old fart!]
The method was
that greatest of challenges...
Rock, paper, scissors!
Ready, one match decides! No whining, right?!
If I lose, I get one day of manual labor!
I will not lose this match!
No matter how I do it...
I must win, uh-huh!
Let's do it? Ready!
Howacha!
Set!
What're you doing, Kagura?!
This is Rock, Paper, Scissors!
And what's up with showing your hand early?!
The early hand is victorious!
I told you, this is Rock, Paper, Scissors!
All right! If that's how you wanna play, so be it!
Hey! I said, this is Rock, Paper, Scissors!
Ready, one match decides! No whining, right?
Ready? First is...
Rock.
Hey, what's with you two?
Didn't I just say, rock was first?
In my family, this is rock.
Oh man! What? Excuses?
I don't know what you're on about.
Well, you've got paper too.
Again.
Here we go!
Do you even know what Rock, Paper, Scissors is?!
What is that?
Can't you tell? This is a crab.
It's better than a stone.
But you still can't beat mine.
Whose family is that supposed to be?
The kids are still eating.
I said this is Rock, Paper, Scissors!
You lose, Shinpachi. Work hard.
Huh?! Why me? You both broke the rules, so you lose!
Don't give me that! I'm just using my head! Quit acting like a baby!
There are rules in the world. Don't you know that?
Rules are made to be broken.
Quit kidding around!
Okay, Gin wins.
Victory!
Whaaaaat?!
Too bad, loser. Work hard.
That's right, Shinpachi. The customer is always right.
Listen to whatever he says.
Hey, what's going on?!
Don't you know?
To the winner goes the spoils of this job. Be grateful.
No, it's not that...
Have fun!
[To the Silver-haired Samurai:
Show your face at Shinsengumi Headquarters, you bastard!
We're the police! Signed, Shinsengumi]
Where are you, silver-haired samurai?!
Come on out!
Over here!
[Shuei Construction]
Say, I really can't get into this.
Quit bitching! Haul these supplies to the site.
There's the silver-haired samurai!
There you are, silver-haired samurai!
Th-This is...
A samurai eating white rice?!
Seconds!
There's no rice for samurai like you!
Found him! It's the silver-haired samurai!
Gotcha! Silver-haired samurai!
H-He's...
...a samurai getting a haircut?!
How would you like it cut?
Just trim it.
Just shave it all off!
Just get with it. There's a mountain of work to be done.
You don't get it, do you?
When you employ people, you have to inspire them, make them soar. You know?
Fine, soar as high as you like and make sure you don't fall. Here.
What?!
They've put signs up all over Edo and now the whole town knows about Kondo's loss?
Yeah, they're going hog wild posting it up.
And for all that, they haven't gotten any results.
Those morons!
What's the sense in telling the whole world your chief lost a duel?
What do you want to do?
If we don't do anything, the whole town will be inconvenienced and the reputation of the Shinsengumi will be in the mud.
Let's go, Sogo.
Go where?
What? Kill him?
Yeah, I'm gonna kill 'em.
You talking about the silver-haired samurai?
Yeah, I'll finish him off before this mess gets any bigger.
Every other word you utter is "kill."
The lessons of history teach us that nothing good comes from assassination.
This isn't assassination.
I'll just walk right up to him and cut him down.
No need to go that far.
Just haul in any old white-haired dude and the troops'll forget all about it!
How about this one?
Here, hold this wooden sword, wouldja?
Pops, swing this wooden sword a few times and beat this guy's head in.
At first glance he's not very imposing, but take off his glases...
and..."wow" Hey look! It's Musashi!
What's the point of drawing him looking cool?!
You really want to kill that dude?
All we know is that he's got white hair.
He can't be just anyone if he beat Kondo.
I'll know who he is when I see him.
Yeah, it's me.
Really? Got it.
Found him?
Yamazaki found someone who seems to be him.
Let's go.
This is the place.
Shinsengumi! We have government business!
What is your business?
This is...
...a really...poor samurai?!
The only part that's right is "samurai"!
Commit seppuku this minute!
A silver-haired samurai.
I wonder where he could be?
You dirtbag! Put your soul into that hammer!
If this was your head, I'd put my soul into the hammer, baldy.
Shut up, you jerk!
Don't talk like you know it all, damned wavy-silver-haired mophead!
Can't find him. I think you don't have enough clues yet.
Why don't we go back? "Ladies 4" is gonna start.
When'd they switch? There's been a drama rerun at four.
Oh, really?
But hey, that drama's supposed to have a happy ending.
You too, huh?
You laugh on the outside, but you're crying on the inside, huh?
I wonder.
You haven't forgotten, have you?
Back in the old samurai country, the one who pulled us out of that humdrum life
was none other than Kondo.
We, the Shinsengumi, can walk around town with our heads held high
because of that man.
We decided to follow him.
Isn't that right, Sogo?
So, Sadomaru III. The target is the butt.
Hey, are you listening?!
Dammit!
Hey, watch it, bro.
H-Hey, that's dangerous!
I said, watch it.
Say it with more emotion then! Got it?
Oh, shut your hole.
Like I'm supposed to listen to a stranger coach me on dramatic delivery!
It's... you! The guy from that time at Ikedaya...
Oh yeah, I forgot...
you've got silver hair.
Umm, who are you?
Is that you, Ogushi? Man, you're looking so important.
What's up? Your pet gold fish ever get any bigger?
Hey, Gin! Hurry up, will ya!
Be right up! 'scuse me, Ogushi. Gotta get back to work.
He took off!
Whatcha gonna do about it, Ogushi?
Who you callin' Ogushi?
That jerk! He forgets me after just three or four episodes!
Well, I think most would.
Sogo, lend me your sword.
Dammit...
If I have to work all day with this baldy, I'll go bald!
Sheesh! If help weren't so hard to find, I'd never have gone to your place!
Don't screw that up, y'hear?
Same to you, baldy.
First bomb disposal, now roof repair?
You've got no self-respect at all, do you?
What's your story anyway?
Bomb?
You were there too, huh?
Finally remembered, eh?
There's no one even in the Shinsengumi who's that crazy.
I thought Kondo was invincible
but if it's you, it's a little more believable.
Kondo?
You two fought over a woman, remember?
Is she worth it?
Introduce me to her, will ya?
Hey...the tip...!
You're friends with gorilla-butt?
What are you coming after me for?
What's the big idea?!
He may be a gorilla, but to us, he's our beloved general!
He built the Shinsengumi up from nothing with just one sword.
He's my brother-in-arms!
I won't let anyone shame our unit...
and who so ever crosses that line, my blade...
...shall taste his blood!
It's time for Ladies 4!
Quit...
...swinging that sword around!
Nuohh!
Huh? What's going on?
Hey, Gin! You don't get paid if you're just playing around!
Shut up, baldy! Call the police! The police!
I am the police.
Huh? Oh yeah. Man, this world is coming to an end.
Heh, you're so right.
I can't figure this guy out.
I heard he used a dirty trick against Kondo,
but he's not doing anything like that now.
Far from it... he's not even defending himself with the sword I gave him.
Could it be that, even though his life's in danger... he's trying to be chivalrous?
Damn!
Draw that sword!
Killing a guy who won't fight back'll leave a bad taste in my mouth!
Hurry up! Draw!
All right, he's finally getting down to business.
Your life or mine!
Got him!
What?!
Parried! He got me.
Okay, fight's over.
Hey, baldy! I'm gonna take some sick leave!
Hold it!
You took mercy on me?
Mercy?
If I had any of that, I'd put it on my rice and eat it.
You fight when you have something to protect.
Like you tried to protect the Shinsengumi.
Protect?
Then what did you protect?
My own rules.
See ya.
That guy's a trip.
Wouldn't mind crossing swords with him myself.
Forget it. Even you would have a tough time of it, Sogo.
He may point his blade at you,
but he's fighting on some other plane.
It's beyond winning and losing for him, beyond right and wrong.
Sorry, Kondo. He beat me, too.
[Up next: Please Teach Us, Ginpachi Sensei]
Ginpachi Sensei after these messages!
[Preview]
What is this?!
Kagura, if you're gonna pick up strays, pick up something we recognize the name of!
Huh? You're gonna keep it? No way!
Mom'll never allow it!
The next episode:
"Eat Something Sour When You're Tired"
[Prince Baka... Hata from Midland Star is back again.]
[And this guy with dilated pupils, who was ordered to find a unique pet?]
[Please Teach Us, Ginpachi Sensei]
Please teach us, Ginpachi Sensei!
Here's a question from "Go back to Ehime, Onishi."
"There's something I've been wondering about..."
"What," you ask?
Well, Shinpachi said...
"The anti-foreigner faction tried to drive out the Amanto when they invaded twenty years ago."
"In other words, Gin and Katsura must be way past their thirties now, right?"
Fine. Now listen up, because this will be on the test.
The Joi War didn't end in just one year or so.
When the Amanto came to Earth twenty years ago, Gin was still a little kid with no hair on his privates.
The government got scared and were forced to open the country to the Amanto.
And throughout the land, samurai fought back but got their asses kicked.
At that point, Gin's pubic hair began to grow.
Eventually, the Amanto infiltrated even the government and had their way.
And it is during this time that Gin began his romp.
No, I don't mean like that.
And that basically sums up the several decades of the samurai struggle known as
the "Anti-Foreigner War."
Gin and the others got involved during the latter part of this period.
In conclusion, Onishi, you go out and stand in the hallway and think about that.